15 November 2011

As Molly Would Say, "I Will Cut You"

Do you see this tweet?  DO YOU SEE THIS TWEET?  Unacceptable.

I am devastated, you guys.  I realize that I’ve completely lax in posting anything of merit on this here blog*, but I am simply devastated at the thought that anybody would EVER want to trade Martin Prado.  No good willcome from this.  There is a not a single player, no combination of hotshot prospects, no right handed power bat, no veteran presence that would EVER make a Prado trade OK, ever.  EVER.

Lauren called me dramatic (jokingly), but whatever.  All of these jerks on sitting behind their computers, playing GM, trying to trade my INVALUABLE favorite player is going to make me pretty upset.  You would not like it either if there were constant rumors swirling around about YOUR favorite player being snatched away from you and you know it.  Don’t even front.  

Also, by the way, people.  Don’t try to sit here and placate me like I’m a child, saying, “I understand why they did/want to do this, because blah blah blah.  It’s what is best for the team.”  You just sound like the teacher from the Charlie Brown specials.  Don’t you try to lambast me with your “superior” baseball knowledge either; so you know how to read the Internet and watch the game.  Guess what, Sherlock?  Me, too.  Don’t you tell me to be reasonable like, “Trading him would result in a better future for the team.”

Whatever.  I do not give a rat’s behind.  He should stay, plain and simple.  There, I said it.  I am NOT interested in your opinions as to why that isn’t true.  You can say I’m wrong all day long, but that won’t make a lick of difference to me (because I’m right).  There’s no point in getting into an argument with me; I will win out of sheer stubbornness (as well as the fact that I am RIGHT).  I know how to construct a clear-cut logical and persuasive argument just as well as any debater can, and I am stubborn. 

At least I know that Molly and Jane have got my back on this.  And I know some of the other readers out there understand.  This is Martin Prado we’re talking about here!

All of this is quite distressing to me.  The Braves’ supply of Venezuelan lovies dwindles, and my patience wears thin when there are threats (yes, THREATS) of trade of the remaining and most beloved Venezuelan, the man who can do anything/everything.  Seriously.  You want to trade Mr. Sunny Skies??????????????  Please do us all a favor and evaporate from existence.

Martin Prado is off-limits.  Do not touch.  This is NOT ok.

[pictures to follow.  I'm on my lunch-break now, and I do not have access.]

*Yes, I have been busy.  And yes, I actually have been writing posts, but things are happening too fast for me… and the quality of the post just… was not good.  I don’t claim to be the best writer in the world, by any means, particularly when writing about sports, but still.  There is a certain standard of quality I try to follow before I decide to publish something that I wrote on the internet for the 10 of y’all to see.  In other words, I have a backlog of posts about the playoffs, the World Series, Farewell-Player posts, and trade rumors.  Maybe i'll post some of them, or edit them so that they aren't so... obviously overdue.

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