"Lower-Half Weight Problem" Isn't the Issue Here

A couple of days ago, in desperate need of girly catharsis, I messaged my friend Caitlin with a photo that I had taken.  Here is the photo in question (and the conversation that followed):

Alison:  I want to marry him

Caitlin:  aw he's poking his tongue out :P

Alison:  i seriously want to marry him

Alison:  well as serious as a person can get with wanting to marry a pro ball player

Caitlin:  hahahahah

Caitlin:  you're adorable :P

Alison:  also… I never thought of myself as a butt girl.  I don't think butts are cute.  I just think they are butts.

Caitlin:  good ones though, are pretty amazing.  unimpressive ones aren't deal breakers, but yeah

Caitlin:  I'll always be and arm and shoulders girl

Alison:  But then I saw HIS butt.  In those tiny baseball pants.

Alison:  and an urge that I had never once experienced before overcame me

Alison:  there is this overwhelming desire to smack his booty, Caitlin.

Caitlin:  hahahhahaha

Caitlin:  I love you Alison :P

Alison:  it's just so... THERE.

Alison:  

Alison:  see?  THERE.  this is a picture of bubbles.

Caitlin:  goodness.  that is definitely a bubble

Alison:  RIGHT???

Caitlin:  I dunno, now I feel lacking myself

Caitlin:  I can't have a guy curvier than me D:

Alison:  That ass is calling for a smack.

Caitlin:  Yes, it is